Zindagi Aur kuch bhi nahi.. Teri meri kahani hai

We both were traveling to Mumbai, the city of dreams and the city where the chaotic madness and passion takes over the chaotic self destructing mind.

Seated on the opposite seats, our eyes only met when the ticket examiner came. We both were hiding ourselves in our respective reads from any social talk. Earphones plugged in, eyes glued to the words that created an imaginary yet beautiful world.

It was an intermediate station that I got to see the epitome of beauty that she was. Dressed in a over sized hoodie, torn denims, flat footwear and glasses, she radiated fragrance of beauty. Her hair nicely tied, eyes running on all sides to ensure no glances were stolen, the baby sips of the hot tea already had my heart racing.

The train began its journey again and we took our respective seats opposite each other. Her eyes were glued on the tales of love and my eyes on her. The Innocence of her face, the widening eyes, the skipping beats heart and the quarter smile shrieked her belief in Love.

It was late and the elderly lady requested for the lights to be turned off. She had put on the reading lights. Only her beautiful face was visible now, the yellow light gracing her face like the sun had ignited an aura of warmth. Her earphones appeared like a pair of those big ear rings. I was hiding behind my mobile phone screen, listening to my favourite retro songs and occasionally stealing glances. She saw me glaring at her a couple of times but kept mum.

I tried to adjust myself to be able to see her more clearly and in the process removed the jack of my headphones from my phone. The song played out loud and I could already hear the co-passengers complaining. I fumbled to pause the song and reconnect the jack. I was embarrassed. I saw her laughing at me. That laugh killed whatever non-existential chance I had with her or so I thought.

I looked at her and said, "I am sorry, that was unintentional."
There were other passengers as well, but I only felt the need to apologise to her.

"It is okay. Happens." She said and smiled.

"Why did you laugh then ? Why are you laughing now ?" I asked in an embarrassingly shy tone.

"I am not laughing, I am just smiling. Smiling because I am listening to the same song as you are. I am smiling at the coincidence." She smiled again.

"No, u r kidding ?" I asked in a desperate tone.
She just nodded. I smiled bright.

"So you are this pretty, graceful, you read and then you listen to retro songs ? Am I actually dreaming this  I know I am sounding cheesy but I am stumped and I can not think straight." I said.

She laughed and swiftly changed the laughter into a shy smile.
 "So you are this tall and handsome, modern guy then listen to retro songs ? Is this for real or am I dreaming?" she winked.

We both laughed at the same wave length. Our eyes did the talking for the next couple of minutes. Our conversations flew smooth whilst the moon graced the night. We talked at lengths discussing our lives, our likes and dislikes before dozing off.

The train reached Mumbai. I had never been this sad about reaching my destination. The journey seemed better. I was about to bid  adieu to this wonderful girl and lose her in the vastness of this city. As we both disembarked the train, I couldn't refrain myself from singing,
"Zindagi aur kuch bhi nahi
Teri meri kahani hai..."

She smiled and stopped in her tracks and came close, handed me the novel she was reading and said, "Bring me this at the address mentioned at the back and call me on the number if you have any difficulty finding it."

I stood there, mesmerised by her presence.
"Bring it soon. I don't want to wait any further to read it." She said and disappeared.

I stood there like an idiot and smiled. Everything seemed too good to be true. We met later that evening. I was still singing,
"Zindagi aur kuch bhi nahi
teri meri kahani hai.."

The Crush'ed'

The way they say for a married couple, the newly "wed". May be all the wedding thingy starts with falling in love and finding a perfect partner with whom you can spend all your life with. But how does "falling in love" starts with? That's the question I have never got a proper answer, after being twenty one years old and literally passing my teenage years doing nothing!
I did try asking my friends; different categories of friends like those who are in love, been in love and also those who have never been in love at all. And the intriguing concept that came along with the distinct discussions was "crush". I have never understood the concept of “crush” may be because different people have different definitions and experiences of their own crushes or may b because I never had a crush on anyone, until now I guess.
So after twenty one years when I realized that it's high time I start living my life the way I want to and start enjoying it, these unavoidable feelings started to arise inside me. For the very first time in my life I felt something new, something unusual and something genuine.
I felt like I am flying up high in the dark cloudy sky with my eyes closed. I watched as the twilight descended and the ambient felt silent. Gradually, I could feel the tremors and I shuddered guilelessly. But then there was someone, someone always by my side comforting me. If I inclined a bit, someone also inclined a bit towards me. I didn't feel the need of opening my eyes and come back to reality. And for the first time I felt that I don't want to reach back home because I was safe even in the midst of relatively turbulent conditions.
I have always considered myself being responsible and caring towards my friends as if I am the only liable person with them. But it's a delight to be on the other side, welcoming the huge amount of care. I was being ingenuous and falling for the meticulosity.
There were other moments also, when I was struggling back and forth, left and right. But he took hold of me and made me stable. And I started experiencing a jubilant journey. It's prodigious that the existence of one person can start changing the meaning of your life. And when the realization struck that this is how I want to spend my entire life, he had to leave.
When I was still in my dreams, he got up and untangled himself from his hold. The touch of his fingers on my cheek bespoke for his reluctance from getting apart. But he had to leave, to drive on his road ahead. He had to drop me because I have chosen a different direction.
We keep crossing roads once in a while, but there is a wall between us. Though we can see ourselves through the wall, it's still a rock solid wall. Instead of being close enough, the wall separates us implicitly. We can stay in touch, touch each other's hearts but cannot feel the actual touch. May be something that gets crushed down or crushes you down is nothing but a “crush”.  And here I am, the newly “crush”ed.

Lost Sailor

He wrote her a song, but it never got finished,

They both fell in love, but it was soon diminished..

She sits on his bed and cries in his lap,

He cries back at her, knowing they can't go back..

Hours go by and neither one can accept,

That by letting go they are doing what's best..

At the end of the day, comes the part which he fears,

To let her go without shedding a million tears..

Never again will he kiss her goodbye,

And just that thought makes him start to cry..

Now he'll finish that song, and he'll write it today,

This is the start and here's what he had to say..

"You are my siren, you drew me in,

With a voice like an angel and the softest skin..

Your eyes shine like diamonds and your smile melts my heart,

I know that nothing could tear us apart"..

That's what he wrote and let me just say,

That he'd never do anything to throw that away..

But that's not how it works; this world's bitter and harsh,

And then something happened, which caused the rash..

An old boyfriend showed up and that's when he knew,

That her feelings for him were not many but few..

This person left her and crushed her heart,

But she had loved him since the very start..

When our boy came along she saw a way,

To end her pain and make it all go away..

But by loving this person through thick and thin,

She looked at our boy and wished it was him..

Now this is where the second verse starts,

It's about how she seemed to break his heart..

He found out her feelings, it went straight to his head,

So he carried on writing and here's what he said..

"You make me smile when no one else can,

It just made me happy to be your man..

But it hurts me deeply that you long for his heart,

I thought we would last, but this breaks us apart"..

He sat in his room and just wished that he,

Could be just like her ex so that they could be..

But as long as he was there, it could never be true,

So he'd sit in his room feeling sad and blue..

Now comes the part where she's crying in his lap,

They both just decided never to go back..

The pain is immense but it's saving his heart,

Because staying with her would rip him apart..

Here's where he decides to finish the song,

The story of how it all went wrong..

He starts the last verse with tears dripping off his nose,

The papers all wet but here's how it goes..

"You were my siren, you drew me in,

You taught me to love and you taught me to sin..

I never thought that you could break my heart,

But I guess I was wrong, right from the start..

You were my siren, now I'm dead at sea,

You drew me in, but you didn't want me..

I just wish I knew where it all went wrong,

But now another lost sailor can hear your song"

Aadhe Adhure Insan

Khud Aadhe Adhure Insan

Khwabo Ko Pura Karne Ki

Hasrat Rakhte Hai

Naadan Dil Ko Kon Samjhaye

Ho Bhale Kimti, Tute Fute Saaman

Aakhir Bikte Hai Kaha?

Aisi Jagah,

Jaha Dawa Pohche Na Marhum

Hum Jakhmo Ko Apne Rakhte Hai Waha

Samay ka Hisaab Gazab Hai

Deta Hai Jhuriya Umar Ko

Sahabzaade Khud Hote Hai Jawaan

Rehna Hai Toh Rehna Majboor

Chodh Dena Ise Bhi Nahi Manzur

Yeh Jagah Jise Kehte Hai Jahan

Khud Aadhe Adhure Insan

Khwabo Ko Pura Karne Ki

Hasrat Rakhte Hai

Dosti

Suna hai

Aaj dosti ka din hai

Yaaro ki yaari ka din hai

Sach kahun toh

Mujhe ye bachkana lagta hai

Faaltu ka fasaana lagta hai

Dosti ki nazar karne ko

Mahaz ek din

Chand chaubees ghante

Kabhi kaafi nahi ho sakte

Kyunki din ki nahi

Ye baat hai dil ki

Safar mein tere saath ki hai

Na ki manzil ki

Ye teri yaari hi toh hai

Jo har saans ko ehsaas karati hai

Ki iss zindagi pe sirf mera haq nahi

Kuch shaqs aur hain 

Jinme mera aks rehta hai

Aksar mujhse kehta hai

Vo jisne 

Andheri raat se palo mein bhi

Haath nahi chhoda 

Vo tu hai

Vo jisne

Mujhe pehchana aur meri kabiliyat ko

Apni jaan se joda

Vo tu hai

Tujhe meri muskano ko 

Phuslana ata hai

Tujhe mere gamo ko

Behkana ata hai

Itni gaaliyan 

Ati bhi nahi hain mujhe

Jitni tujhe de jata hun

Mujhe tak maalum nahi vo raaz

Jo teri sohbaton mein 

Main khud se keh jata hun

Humari baaton se lagta hai

Bhagwaan ne behek ke 

Hume banane ka khayal kiya

Hosh mein aa ke

Humari raahon ko baandh diya

Iss maqsad se

Ki bina ek doosre ke 

Hum adhoore hain

Milkar bhi paagal hi hain

Par kam se kam poore hain

Har baar lagta hai

Isse badtar bakwas nahi ho sakti

Isse betuka mazaak nahi ho sakta

Isse bematlab koi baat nahi ho sakti

Aur har nayi mulaqaat pe

Hum khud ko haraa dete hain

Aur jeet lete hain

Kuch keemti yaade

Kuch unkahe vaade 

Meri har doobti umeed ki 

Tu subah hai

Tu dost nahi hai yaar

Tu duaa hai

Bezubaan iss dil mein

Tu dhadkan ki dhun hai

Lafzo ki vaise hi kami hai

Toh dhyaan se sun le 

Tu saath hai

Toh sukoon hai

Ek aas hai

Koi junoon hai

Shukria ki tu hum kadam hai

Main adaa nahi kar sakta

Uske liye toh tamam zindagi kam hai

Main ye khata nahi kar sakta

Isse ek din mein samet ke

Vo kya hai na

Din ki nahi

Ye baat hai dil ki

Safar mein tere saath ki

Na ki manzil ki...

Voice of Rape Victim's Father

Choti Si Bulbul aa jao , mere ghar ko fir roshan kar do
apne nanhe kadamo se tum iss ghar ka dar-aangan bhardo
kyu tu humse ruthi aise aakash me udd ke baithi hai?
tu paas nahi meri bacchi , har saasn zeher ke jaisi hai

woh kaisa tha insan bhala jisne tha tujhpe vaar kiya
uss kutte ki aulaad ne kaise mera ye sansaar liya
kaisi sarkar humari hai jo jaanwaro ko sehti hai
Gidhad ghume sadko pe aur ye adalato me rehti hai

main toh itna majbur hu beta...ghut ghut ke marr jaunga
uss buzdil ki surat dikh gaayi toh main kuch bhi kar jaaunga
sarkar napunsak hai beta..yeh bas mujhko daudaegi
har nyayalay me khichegi ..har daftar tak le jaegi

meri gudiya ...main kuch dinn me bas paas tere aa jaunga
itne sawal hai dil me ...uss bhagwan se puch toh paunga
kyu cheena tha tujhko mujhse kyu itna dukh dikhlaya tha
uski sundar dharti pe kyu gande logo ka saya tha...

छोटी सी बुलबुल आ जाओ, मेरे घर को फिर रौशन कर दो,
अपने नन्हे क़दमों से तुम इस घर का दर-आँगन भर दो,
क्यूँ तू हमसे रूठी ऐसे आकाश में उड़ के बैठी है?
तू पास नहीं मेरी बच्ची, हर सांस ज़हर के जैसी है|

वो कैसा था इंसान भला जिसने था तुझपे वार किया?
उस कुत्ते की औलाद ने कैसे मेरा ये संसार लिया?
कैसी सरकार हमारी है जो जानवरों को सहती है?
गीदड़ घूमें सड़कों पे और ये अदालतों में रहती है|

मैं तो इतना मजबूर हूँ, बेटा! घुट-घुट के मर जाऊँगा,
उस बुज़्दिल की सूरत दिख गई तो मैं कुछ भी कर जाऊँगा,
सरकार नपुंसक है बेटी, ये बस मुझको दौड़ाएगी,
हर न्यायालय में खींचेगी, हर दफ़्तर तक ले जाएगी|

मेरी गुड़िया! मैं कुछ दिन में बस पास तेरे आ जाऊँगा,
इतने सवाल हैं दिल में उस भगवान से पूछ तो पाउँगा,
क्यूँ छीना था तुझको मुझसे, क्यूँ इतना दुख: दिखलाया था?
उसकी सुन्दर धरती पे क्यूँ गंदे लोगों का साया था?

Zindagi Ka Pata

Ek Roz Zindagi Ka Maine Pucha Pata

Rehti Hai Tu Kaha… Ek Thikana Bata

Zindagi Muskura Kar Yeh Boli Mujhe

Dhundh Shiddatt Se… Milungi Tujhe

Main Wahi Hu Jaha Tune Socha Nahi

Rote Baache Ke Aansu Ko Pocchha Nahi

Haan…Main Uski Muskaan Me Hu Chupi

Tu Hasa Kar Usse … Dhundh Le Zindagi

Dhundh Paaye Na Abhi Toh Teri Khata

Ek Roz Zindagi Ka Maine Pucha Pata…

Fir Who Boli..Mera Ek Thikana Nai

Paas Aai Bhi Toh Tune Jana Nahi

Ek Bhuke Ko Tu Pet Bhar Ke Khila

Ki Woh Soche Usse Ek Farishta Mila

Dekh Kar Usko Thoda Sa Muska Le Tu

Aur DuaoMe Uski.. Mujhe Paa Le Tu

Koi Ehsaan Kar Toh Bhi Na Jata

Ek Roz Zindagi Ka Maine Pucha Pata…

Ye Kahe Zindagi…Sabke Daamann Me Hu

Bann Ke Chidiya Main Tum Sabke Aangan Me Hu

Jisko Toofan-Aandhi Se Rahat Nahi

Jisko Sone Ya Chandi Se Chahat Nahi

Kuch Chawal Ke Daane Tu Usko Khila

Apni Saanso Ko Tu Zindagi Se Mila

Saans Leta  Toh Hai Par Zindagi Lapata

Ek Roz Zindagi Ka Maine Pucha Pata…

Kehti Hai Zindagi … Kitne Chehro Me Hu

Pyaar Baat ta Jaha Aise Shehro Me Hu

Main Hu Ghum Ke Haatho Pe Khilti Hasi

Ek Laachar Ki Main Dua Me Basti

Bann Ke Insaan Pal Bhar Me Paa Le Mujhe

Girr Gayi Hu Main Tujhse…. Utha Le Mujhe

Rooh Se Teri Hokar Mera Rasta

Ek Roz Zindagi Ka Maine Pucha Pata…